What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 22.06.2025 15:21
TEXT:
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
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Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
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Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Make Nazis afraid again!
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
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At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Why are the Chinese so sensitive to Western criticism?
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Why do Indian parents force their kids to do stuff?
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.